SMS

there is a girl who argue with her bf coz she asked a ring for her birthday…

but her bf send a talking doll instead…

the girl refused to accept the doll the she throw it away…

the guy run as fast as he could to save the doll but an approaching car hit him then he died…

at the burial the girl was crying, she grab the doll then hold it tight, the  talking doll spoke saying ” will you marry me?Pls get the ring in the doll’s pocket. hope you like it…”

__________

the worst feeling is knowing how much you like someone

how much that person likes you back,

how perfect you are together….

but for million unknown reasons you can never be together… damn!

_________________

love is confusing isn’t it?

we can never tell when to give up and when to keep trying;

when to let go and when to hold on.

 the question is :

is it the love which is confusing?

or the person you’re loving?

SMS jokes….

paano hahatiin ang 60 pesos sa tatlong babae at 3 lalaki?

sampuke ana.

sampuke clara.

sampuke rhea.

at sa lalake

o ten mo

o ten nya

o ten ko

tama ba?

_____________________________________

 

demonyo dumating sa park….

pari: hahh! sa kapangyarihan ko at paniniwala, umalis ka demonyo. alis!!!

demonyo: WOW …. parang may-ari ng park!! sayo to?! sayo to?!

__________________________________________

 

San Pedro: anong kasalanan mo?

KILLER PO!

sa impyerno ka! ikaw?

MAGNANAKAW PO!

sa impyerno ka rin! ikaw?

POKPOK PO!

ah don ka sa kwarto sa langit tayo!

 

_________________________________

a nerd ask his hot and sexy classmate to have sex with him

NERD: sex tayo! babayaran kita ng 1K, bibilisan ko tatapon ko yung 1k sa sahig. tutuwad ka habang punipulot mo, pagtayo mo tapos na ako i-sex ka.

SEXY: tawagan ko muna BF ko kung papayag sya.

tinawagan nya….

BF: sige payag ako. bilisan mo lang pagtuwad para walang mangyari.

After 10 mins BF calls…

BF: nakuha mo na pera?

SEXY: aaahhh… hindi pa eh! ah!ah!

BF: bakit?

SEXY: tig-pipiso eh!

 __________________________________________

kapag may nang-api sayo dadating kami at sasabihing:

kapangyarihan ng alak

taglay ang kahiluhan

dalawa ang tingin

pagewang-gewang ang dating!

kami ang super lasing!

_________________________________________

 

sa mental hospital

NURSE: anong nasa isip mo ngayon?

PASYENTE: pamilya ko

natuwa ang nurse

NURSE: nasaan ba ang pamilya mo?

PASYENTE: sana isip ko nga eh!

________________________________________

sa prusisyon

PARI: ang mga boys sunod sa caro ni san jose, mga girls sa caro ni mama mary.

BAKLA: kami father, san kami susunod?!

PARI: mga bruha follow me!

 

My abcd’s

Binigyan ako ng assignment ni jojie sumakit ang ulo ko mag-isip ha first time ko kasing ma-tag. At ang problema ko ngayon kung sino ang ita-tag ko.. waaaaahhhh… eto na po

.Instructions: Each player starts with 7 random habits/facts about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

Seven facts about me:

â tactless

â mahilig kumanta

â reading pocketbooks pag walang pasok

â mahilig matulog

â makipaglandian o bonding sa baby ko

â mahilig mag-utos

â mapanlait (hahaha) 

A – Age: 27
B – Band Listening : snow patrol
C – Career: PT (patanga-tanga)
D – Drink or Smoke: drink occasionally, smoke yes
E – Easiest Friends To Talk To:
G – Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: sorry di ko like ang taste nun
H – Have a Boyfriend: yes
I – In love: not sure maybe
J- Junk Food You Like: clover, Chippy, nova
K – Kids: yup 1 lang
L – Longest Ride Ever: land trip zambales
N – Names For Your Future Kids: meron na kasi ayaw ko na ng future sybielle selynn
O – One Wish You Have Now:  more money
P – Phobias: snakes, daga
Q – Favorite Quote: “life is what you make it”
R – Reasons To Smile: sybielle “sweet”
S – Sleeping Time: 9-10pm
T – Time You Woke Up: 5am
U – Unknown Fact About You: I am conservative minsan
V – Vegetable You Hate: saluyot ewww
W – Worst Habit: smoking
X – X-rays You’ve Had: chest and abdomen
Y – Yummy Foods: sinigang na baboy/baka, kare-kare, chopsuey, pinakbet, bopis, dinuguan, pansit, spaghetti, caldereta, inihaw na bangus at tilapia (nnagugutom na uli ako. Dami pa di lang yan_
Z – Zodiac Sign: libra 

I’m tagging cdy173, mhicar03 wala na akong maisip na iba pa kaya may utang ako ngayon.

IQ of a 3rd grader

Subject: IQ of a 3rd grader 

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam was having trouble with one of her students the teacher asked,”Boy, what is your problem?” 

Boy answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade.

My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!” 

Ms. Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the principal’s office. 

While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told MsNeelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

 Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. 

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?” 

Boy: “9″. 

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?” 

Boy: “36″. 

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms. Neelam and tells her, “I think Boy can go to the third-grade.” 

Ms. Neelam says to the principal, “I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?” The principal and Boy both agree.

 Ms. Neelam asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? 

Boy, after a moment “Legs.” 

Ms. Neelam: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?” 

Boy: “Pockets.” 

Ms. Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? 

Boy: Coconut 

Ms. Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge. 

Boy: Bubblegum 

Ms. Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?  

The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer… 

Boy: Shake hands 

Ms. Neelam: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay? 

Boy: Yep. 

Ms. Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. 

Boy: Tent 

Ms. Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.  

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg. 

Boy: Wedding Ring 

Ms. Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. 

Boy: Nose 

Ms. Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. 

Boy: Arrow 

Ms. Neelam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement? 

Boy: Firetruck 

Ms. Neelam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand. 

Boy: Fork 

Ms. Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after they’re married?

 Boy: SURNAME 

Ms. Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ? 

Boy: HEART. 

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, “Send this Boy to the University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!” 

parental wisdon-Filipino style

Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga mumunti ngunit ginintuang butil na payo na nakuha ko sa aking mga magulang.1. Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE : “Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas! Mga leche kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay.” 2. Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay: “Kapag yang mantsa di natanggal sa carpet, magdasal ka na!” 3.Kay Inay ako natuto ng LOGIC : “Kaya ganyan, dahil sinabi ko.” 4. At kay Inay pa rin ako natuto ng MORE LOGIC: “Pag ikaw nalaglag diyan sa bubong, ako lang mag-isa ang manonood ng sine.” 5. Si Inay din ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng IRONY: “Sige ngumalngal ka pa at bibigyan talaga kita ng iiyakan mo!” 6. Si Inay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang CONTORTIONISM: “Tingnan mo nga yang dumi sa likod ng leeg mo, tingnan mo!!!” 7. Si Itay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng STAMINA: “Wag kang tatayo diyan hangga’t di mo nauubos lahat ng pagkain mo!” 8. At si Inay ang nagturo sa amin kung ano ang WEATHER: “Lintek talaga kayo, ano ba itong kuwarto nyong magkapatid, parang dinaanan ng bagyo!” 9. Ganito ang paliwanag sa akin ni Inay tungkol sa CIRCLE OF LIFE: “Malandi kang bata ka, iniluwal kita sa mundong ito, maari rin kitang alisin sa mundong ito.” 10. Kay Itay ako natuto kung ano ang BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: “Tumigil ka nga diyan! Huwag kang umarte na parang Nanay mo!” 11. Si Inay naman ang nagturo kung anong ibig sabihin ng GENETICS: “Nagmana ka nga talaga sa ama mong walanghiya!” 12. Si Inay naman ang nagpaliwanag sa amin kung anong ibig sabihin ng ENVY : “Maraming mga batang ulila sa magulang. Di ba kayo nagpapasalamat at mayroon kayong magulang na tulad namin?” 13. Si Itay naman ang nagturo sa akin ng ANTICIPATION : “Sige kang bata ka, hintayin mong makarating tayo sa bahay!” 14. At si Itay pa rin ang nagturo kay Kuya kung anong ibig sabihin ng RECEIVING: “Uupakan kita pagdating natin sa bahay!” 15. Si Inay naman ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang HUMOR: “Kapag naputol yang mga paa mo ng pinaglalaruan mong lawnmower, wag na wag kang tatakbo sa akin at lulumpuhin kita!” 16. At ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat, natutunan ko kina Inay at Itay kung ano ang JUSTICE : “Balang araw magkakaroon ka rin ng anak…tiyak magiging katulad mo at magiging sakit din sa ulo!”