SMS

there is a girl who argue with her bf coz she asked a ring for her birthday…

but her bf send a talking doll instead…

the girl refused to accept the doll the she throw it away…

the guy run as fast as he could to save the doll but an approaching car hit him then he died…

at the burial the girl was crying, she grab the doll then hold it tight, the  talking doll spoke saying ” will you marry me?Pls get the ring in the doll’s pocket. hope you like it…”

__________

the worst feeling is knowing how much you like someone

how much that person likes you back,

how perfect you are together….

but for million unknown reasons you can never be together… damn!

_________________

love is confusing isn’t it?

we can never tell when to give up and when to keep trying;

when to let go and when to hold on.

 the question is :

is it the love which is confusing?

or the person you’re loving?

SMS jokes….

paano hahatiin ang 60 pesos sa tatlong babae at 3 lalaki?

sampuke ana.

sampuke clara.

sampuke rhea.

at sa lalake

o ten mo

o ten nya

o ten ko

tama ba?

_____________________________________

 

demonyo dumating sa park….

pari: hahh! sa kapangyarihan ko at paniniwala, umalis ka demonyo. alis!!!

demonyo: WOW …. parang may-ari ng park!! sayo to?! sayo to?!

__________________________________________

 

San Pedro: anong kasalanan mo?

KILLER PO!

sa impyerno ka! ikaw?

MAGNANAKAW PO!

sa impyerno ka rin! ikaw?

POKPOK PO!

ah don ka sa kwarto sa langit tayo!

 

_________________________________

a nerd ask his hot and sexy classmate to have sex with him

NERD: sex tayo! babayaran kita ng 1K, bibilisan ko tatapon ko yung 1k sa sahig. tutuwad ka habang punipulot mo, pagtayo mo tapos na ako i-sex ka.

SEXY: tawagan ko muna BF ko kung papayag sya.

tinawagan nya….

BF: sige payag ako. bilisan mo lang pagtuwad para walang mangyari.

After 10 mins BF calls…

BF: nakuha mo na pera?

SEXY: aaahhh… hindi pa eh! ah!ah!

BF: bakit?

SEXY: tig-pipiso eh!

 __________________________________________

kapag may nang-api sayo dadating kami at sasabihing:

kapangyarihan ng alak

taglay ang kahiluhan

dalawa ang tingin

pagewang-gewang ang dating!

kami ang super lasing!

_________________________________________

 

sa mental hospital

NURSE: anong nasa isip mo ngayon?

PASYENTE: pamilya ko

natuwa ang nurse

NURSE: nasaan ba ang pamilya mo?

PASYENTE: sana isip ko nga eh!

________________________________________

sa prusisyon

PARI: ang mga boys sunod sa caro ni san jose, mga girls sa caro ni mama mary.

BAKLA: kami father, san kami susunod?!

PARI: mga bruha follow me!